Sister Zoe's Cambodacious Journey: Unbelievable

Dear Family and Friends,

This week was LONG and ROUGH... I don't really know what's been going on lately, but I feel like all of our lessons fell through. It was the water festival and everyone was busy dau lenging (hanging out) and couldn't meet with us. Also, our ward is kind of falling apart... Lots of people have just stopped coming to church and no one has their phone number or knows where their house is so that makes going to find them to try to help them come back, pretty impossible... Our relief society president is less active and going to a different church, along with a recent convert, and a couple other members as well. They are going to that church because they give out rice and if they go to that church they don't have to pay for their kids schooling because the church will pay it for them... Unbelievable. It just breaks my heart. Also, a few of the members are still doing their Buddhist traditions (worshiping ancestors) and there is no way that they can have strong faith if they are caught up with that... I just don't know how to help them. I feel like they won't listen to me, a little 20-year-old American girl, even if I am a set apart missionary of the Lord. I go in and teach them, what I think is a great lesson, by the spirit, and NOTHING. I have faith in my calling, power, and authority, but maybe they don't. I've been trying to work with the members to see what we can do to help them, but they have all kind of given up hope... they just say "Sister don't worry about them. They won't come back." but that's not what I should be doing. I should care. I should be helping them. That’s my purpose and calling as a missionary -to help people come back and repent, really repent and change their lives. I just don't know how to do that if they won't let me meet with them... you know? I feel pretty hopeless right now... I just want to help this area progress, especially with the little amount of time that I have left, but nothing seems to be working.... that's what we are working with for the less actives. Our investigators seem to be doing pretty good though. We have 6 right now. 3 of them are pretty solid, Tola (14 year old girl) Bunleu (the pregnant one), and Marina (the member non member situation) and then the other three are kind of iffy, not really wanting to meet us and such. But I should just be grateful we have 3 good investigators. And I am. I love them, but I just want them to be able to come to church and feel like it's something they want in their lives, but if we only have 40 people there... makes it kind of hard. I know you guys have never had to deal with Buddhist drama, but if you have any idea on strengthening faith in Jesus Christ, I’m all ears. (:

As for Zeekaa, yes, she gets a whole paragraph to herself... she has basically dropped off the face of the planet... we have natted with her (made an appointment) three times now and she just doesn't show up... I know she's busy with work, but she worked before and still had time to meet us. When she got this new job, maybe a month ago, I asked her if it would affect her church attendance and she said no... and now she hasn't been to church for two weeks in a row... Unbelievable. I’m super sad about it and Sister Luke didn't even get to say goodbye to her... also, I talked to her and she's now reading her scriptures, so that's cool... Praying we can finally meet with her this week and help her see the light. Her birthday is this week and I’m planning on getting her a birthday present, so hopefully that sweetens her up a little bit. haha

We spent a lot of time saying goodbye to members this week. It was way sad seeing Sister Luke say goodbye to them, but made me even more grateful that I am staying here in PCT, the work might not be moving super good, but the members are the BEST!!!! We had dinner Thursday night with some of the elders recent converts that we've grown pretty close to and it was so fun. We just laughed and had the best time. They are such examples to me. Nimol, the older brother (their parents are dead I’m pretty sure) was a street contact and he was golden. His little sister and two of his cousins have since been baptized and the elders are currently teaching his brother and his wife, so they are the best!!!

Transfer day was hard saying goodbye to Sister Luke... also, everyone that was going back out to the khets gave me hugs and said "I might not see you before you die, so goodbye!!" and that when things got super real... I didn't like it... so that was the down side to transfer day, but the upside was Sister Christensen's nephew was there and he is the cutest!!! Also SISTER BENSON!!!! She is a year younger than me and from Ephraim Utah. And she is SO GOOD!!! She blew my mind. Her Khmer is Unbelievable. She must have worked so hard in her training to get where she is. She is basically as good as I am. She is going to help PCT so much!!! We've had a few lessons already and she teaches by the spirit and teaches things so simply. I really really love being her comp and it's only been 4 days. Excited to see how we continue to grow over the next few weeks.

Tola is doing so good. We met her last night after not meeting her for about a week and she remembered EVERYTHING. She is so good. I love her. Super good for her to have such a good support system around her.

I know this email was super sad and negative, but I’m actually pretty excited to see how my relationship with the lord develops over the next few weeks. What a great way to end, right? I know that I can't do this work without His help. I will trust Him and He will help PCT. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have had to serve the Lord. So much happens on a mission that can't happen anywhere else. My mission has changed my life. I am a different person since the day I entered the MTC, all because of the Lord. His plan is perfect for each of us. Through the Gospel, we can find joy and happiness in this life. We can overcome all things through the Atonement of Christ. If you don't have a personal relationship with your savior yet, I encourage you all to start reading the Book of Mormon, Today!!!! . The Book of Mormon is the word of God and a book that, if read and applied in our lives, WILL CHANGE us. I have seen it so much in my mission. Reading of the Book of Mormon is the game changer. Always. READ IT!!!

Love,

Sister Loftus

Double D

P.S. forgot that it was thanksgiving this week... haha!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!! Eat lots of good food for me and you should try giving a gratitude prayer. A prayer where you only thank him. Don't ask for ANYTHING. it's a really really cool experience. LOVE YOU ALL!!!! We have so much to be grateful for.